T_T

Probably don't have to read this...hanyalah entry luahan perasaan semata-mata. Just finished a discussion with my sv, lots of comments as well as advices too. It's been 1 year, but i just started my actual doc research few months back. The first few months i have to learn lots of new things especially instruments and this knowlegde/field is totally new for me. After that i have to figure out what to do in order to reach the goal. At first my sv and i thought that this sample would make a good one and will be a good field for my reseacrh, yet it seems like it's not as reproducible as we thought. Back when i was in master course, i was used to do what is suggested and what would be the best, as well as searching for information and giving my own thoughts because i know the line i know the road i know where i should go, but yet it's totally different now, i am still searching, i am still looking, am i in the right path, is this the way i should go...he is a kind of free style which let me choose what i want to do, yet i wanted to be ordered to do this and that, yeah..maybe he knows whats the best for me, that's why he just let me go with the flow. Shikashi (tetapi) going with a flow which i'm lost in is terrible, i thought i knew it but the deeper it goes i get lost further and further...oh my goodness wake up, i should do something, or else i cant finish on time. He said research in science is much more challenging because u are searching for something unknown and havent been construct yet, sometime you may find a jewel, but sometime it's not worth it as a jewel. And now i need to choose whether i should stop this topic and try a new one or continue with what i've done. There are two possibilities, if i stop this one maybe it's the right choice and found a jewel in the new topic, but what if i can't find a jewel in the new topic and there's a jewel beneath the current topic yet i need to put a little more effort (which i think i have put extra enough effort in it). Ughh this is soooo headache u know... within a year, no conferences no sign of any article which i can submit...huhu...that's why it is important to be close to your creator. I never stop praying for my love and i as well my friends and students to be successful in everything and be happy in life and always live in bless. But in life Allah always test us, to see how faithful we are how patient we are. Hopefully i will find a right path...InsyaAllah