Help..i'm sinking..

yes i do..feels like sinking to the bottom of the ocean..i feel so down..so unhappy. i've been irritated with this guy..for so long..huu..and feels like it's getting tougher and tougher. ..can i ever make it? i still didn't see the light.the path that i should follow. lelaki ni sama group with me. he is very skima the gaban and always think negative about me. can you imagine if something happen i'm the first one to be blame even though i didn't know anything. i'll tel you some of it. i was doing my exp...i notice this brown color stain on he floor..but i didn't know who did that. it has been dried out but the color stain was stil there..suddenly he came into the experiment room and said..setelah di alih bahasa "awak tumpahkan larutan?" i was like..huh...no, i don't know it's already here when i came in. another case.."awak ada ubah kedudukan alat STM"..at that time i was all day doing my assignment and didn't go to the stm room at all. Normally, i just use it nak ubah suai or modified seriously..i'm scared to touch that expensive equipment and will never do that. and there are 3 stm, one stm is in repair another stm is not stable and there is only one..they use it almost all the time name it at night weekends..and so on (the frequent user, i bet u know who), i only use it twice a week for a few hours instead of nite or all day long..coz tak sanggp nak tido kat lab..i have classes and i want to take care of my family and i also do need a rest at home..there's this one week where i wrote my name to use it twice for one week and he can use it for the whole week. But still he complain it in group meeting sad i book the instrument so many time..i feel like i want to argue..tapi saya perlu sedar that i'm not a japanese here..hanya menumpag di tempat org so i mengalah (sadisnya ayat hehe) and wipe off my name (even tho while wiping i feel like i have all the right to use the instrument), and as soon as i wipe off my name from the whiteboard, he quickly wrote his. no wonder sebab dia tak boleh guna that instrument on that particular day which i already booked, he said like that at the meeting..gosh...the hate and anger is getting worse. he always go into the room when i'm doing smething..like spying.and sometime he will said you canot do this you cannot do hat..padahal org lain rilek je. the other grop member.the one who teach me to use stm..had taught really well and i did follow his way to handle stm but in this guys' eyes i'm still maybe lack of training, even my co-sv didn't say anything, of course she's on his side. the worse part is..when i'm measuring and stop for a while to modify my sample, he simply took out my sample and run his exp and when i want to continue i was shocked to find him using. U have the whole time yet still want to take advantange of my tiny weeny time to use the instrument. help!!! patience is needed..i dont know why this typical person which have negative thoughts on foreigners still exist. goshh..i cant wait for him to habiskan dia nyer course cepat2 so that he wont bother me anymore but that time is still long..it is until next year 2010. Huhu..apa kan daya ku. pray and patience and share everything to my love. really soothes the feeling out..but still facing that guy..sungguh menyakitkan mata dan hati. think positively and try to give and forget..does he deserve that? i dont think so but do i have a choice then? hu..lets forget about this i had 2 tags which i hope to bright up my day, one is from my long lost old friend from primary school and another tag is from my ex student during practical..here goes..

TAG 1..(Mazuini. SRKZ (1))

1. When do you get your driving licence?
after SPM...
2. What type is your car now?
honda civic versi 1998
3. Do ypu choose your plate number or was it given?
beli yg dah sedia ada..second hand..
4. What is the color of your car?
dark blue
5. Have ever got yourself into accident?
masa kat utm dulu..moto langgar blakang kete pastu salahkan i..ada ke patut
6. When is the due for your insurance and road tax?
just renewed masa beli hari tu
7. Do you plan to change your car?
my love cakap tukar
8. Lets make your friend do this too. Who would you choose?
opiya! sebab dia ske bawa kete mcm fast n furious

TAG 2...(Opiya-SMKDBD)

Four Names That Friends Call You:
1. Nis (nama panggilan plg kerap)
2. Hanis (kedua plg kerap..he)
3. Miss Flower (nama zaman skolah n zaman uni)
4. Cik Ha (love this name..dearie cik hu yang panggil)

Four Most Important Dates in Your Life:
1. 280508
2. Birthday my Love and family
3. mochiron my birthday
4. 010707 and my friends birthday

Four Things You've Done in the Last 30 Minutes:
1. chat with love
2. reading articles
3. check my email
4. check my sample at lab

Four Ways to be Happy:
1. with my love
2. with my family
3. outing n jenjalan..besh2
4. watching movies..birthday celebration..blogging

Four People You Miss From Your Past:
1. arwah mok and tok mek
2. arwah tok ayah
3. my cousins..the one whom i always play girly2 with
4. my school friends

Four Gifts You Would Like to Receive:
1. a bouquet of roses..
2. a nice car..
3. nice clothes and handbags..
4. a very secured savings..for the future..

Four of Your Favourite Hobbies:
1. outing with love and spend my time with him
2. if i have time i really love to bake
3. movies...
4. sometime shopping..

Four Places or Country You Want to go for Vacation:
1. Osaka
2. Korea
3. belah2 europe nun
4. tempat kat mesia yg besh2..esp pulau..never been to one hhuhu

Four Favourite Drinks:
1. juice
2. coffee
3. tea
4. milk..yogurt..

Four Things Always Found in your Purse/Wallet:
1. alien card
2. rahsia..hehe
3. some okane
4. resit2 berkenaan

Four Favourite Colors:
1. BLUE
2. Purple
3. Pink
4. brown and other soft colors

Top Four Hangouts:
1. SEIYU...huuu
2. Jusco
3. Sendai city
4. toki doki izumi, mitsui

Top Four U Love so Much:
1. My love and family
2. my close relatives
3. my friends
4. my students

Top Four 'Things' Special to You:
1. presents from love
2. presents from family
3. my belongings
4. presents from friends

Top Four Who You Will Tagged:
1. Mazuini
2. Nini
3. Akira chan
4. Fadhilah

Top Four Reasons Why You Answered This Survey:
1. sebab opiya yg tag
2. i really need some short break
3. dah lama tak jawab tag
4. tak faham baca buku jepun ni..thursday is test day huhu..