Thursday, January 28, 2010

Talking about...

Lets talk about what is our purpose....

But first... Happy Birthday to my wonderful sister, u've been there with me through ups and downs, and i really adore you my dear sis, Hanim MY.

What is your real purpose of studying Doctor course/PhD? Look back at your main purpose.... Why do i want to further my master last time? I did wanted to be a teacher but my experience during latihan mengajar made me think, and during my final year project, it did opened my eyes wider, i want to search for more knowledge, if i be a lecturer i will have more opportunity and i can do research as well. At that time it was such a difficult decision since i already got a post at a school in Tumpat, about 30 minutes drive maybe and i can stay close with my parents yet at the same time i got an offer to further my study, after some thought i wanted to further my study since i dont have any contract with KPM since i am using ptptn, i finished my master quite late due to instrument problem and spent 6 months of job hunting and no money, taking care of my nieces and nephews yang chumels and i got some pocket money hehe... menternak badan di kg halaman and alhamdulillah finally i got a steady job.. as a lecturer, Alhamdulilah... at that time i was so relieved and so glad... Allah maha kaya, maha pemurah... dikurniakan pula seorang insan peneman hidup, my beloved husband, my love AT. Bukan auto transmission yer hehe...

Honestly, lepas masuk kerja i am really looking forward to further my study, why? I want the knowledge, saya mahu mencari ilmu dah pengalaman untuk dikongsi serta mendidik pelajar2 saya... rasa seperti tersangat kurang ilmu di dada untuk mendidik my lovely students so this is my time. I dont really care where but if i have the opportunity to study outside my country that would be a bonus for me. Antara sebab2 lain, sementara masih muda, belum punya tanggungjawab dan masih dikurniakan kesihatan, saya perlu meneruskan misi mencari ilmu (masa ni belum jumpa my love so i just did my own plan). Pengalaman mengajar banyak menyedarkan diri ini..how i wanted to teach all that i know to my students yet my knowledge is still at the bottom of a bowl... so i thought that by furthering my study, the experience and the knowledge gained can be very useful for future undertaking.

I never knew how much allowance will i get, i never knew that when i came back from study tangga gaji naik..(memang tak tahu apa2 sehingga pergi kursus induksi and after that knowing my love and i knew more) but i never cared, all i wanted is the knowledge and a chance to to seek the knowledge at different environment. When i met my love we have a same opinion. Alhamdulillah rezeki telah ditetapkan and here we are in Sendai, both of us are studying yet we only get "1" allowance and extra housing allowance sama je macam ikut husband pergi further study walhal i am also studying, but i dont care, i still have my salary even though it has been cut down a little bit because the most important thing is i have this chance, a once in a lifetime chance which i guess it is very hard to get and i don't want to miss it. My love and I was eager to see how it would be studying here tak pernah terlintas di dalam hati kami..balik nanti gaji naik duit banyak etc...it's the knowledge that we seek for.

And these few days people are talking about something. It is still a long way to go. My love and i maybe have another 2 years here and policies can change anytime especially government policies which are unpredictable. My love and i kind of talked about it last night... kenapa perlu risau, tak ada apa yang perlu risau... what is our mission? what is our purpose? menuntut ilmu kerana Allah bukan kerana sebab2 lain. Kenapa perlu sedih. Seriously, my love and i dont really care so much about this... ilmu dan pengalaman diperolehi sangat tak ternilai and we will appreciate it forever and shared it with others, look back at your purpose... do u really sincere of doing this? To be apart from family and loved one? And yet grumbling over a small matter? Look around you? Aren't you blessed with this opportunities? Photo shoot with snowy weather, tried snowboarding, various fruit picking, we can experience the advancement of the systems and technologies where we couldn't find it back in our country and yet more experience and knowledge to come. Aren't we blessed with that? Ramai lagi orang di luar sana tak dapat peluang seperti ini and yet we grumbling over a small matter. Subhanallah. (I don't know why i become so emo). It is still a long long way to go. Anything can happen, anything can change, just play our role of seeking knowledge... Allah really know your true intention and purpose.. wallahua'lam

And think back, my love and i only have one intention coming here and we are glad that we are blessed with gifts from Allah, we can still stay at International house (which is by rule students can only live 1 year) and we manage to extend another year and my the rent are 3 to 4 times cheaper than the other normal houses, and when i joined an activity and lend a help i will get some pocket money... my lovely supervisor arranged this for me... which i never knew at all alih2 dapat duit, syukur that's all i can say even though i have circumstances in my research/study..i will never give up and loose hope because i know my main purpose... i know what i really want..insyaAllah there will be the way for my love and i... this issue really made me think back and grateful with what i have now... Thanks to my forever love, my love for a thoughtful chit chatting last night (saya sangat slow and tak arif dgn isu2 semasa)...aishiteru... ^_^

10 comments:

azmina ibrahim said...

yup....ilmu pengetahuan tuh spttnya dtg dulu...mcm azmina, gaji ke ape ke xpkir pun....tp pkir nak carik ilmu, nak blk nnti jd org yg confident, dpt mengajar dgn baik, dpt buat research, bkn fikir utk peningkatan diri dari segi 'money matters' or 'pangkat' tp dari segi ilmu, tgk kakak2 yg balik belajar, they're really expert in their field,duk fikir yg really HOPE that someday i can be as GOOD as that, giving lectures, writing books and journals to expand my knowledge..dan peluang utk cari ilmu tuh dan kenal negara org xdtg byk kali..grab it, go for it..doa & Tawakkal itu jalan yg terbaik bg kita ;-P (Agreed with u hanis !!!!!)

Hasyiya karimah adli said...

bersemangat saya bc...truskan mnuntut ilmu yay!:)Insya Allah,puan ngn husbnd leh smpi ke huj jalan..balik nnt dgn title DR! sabar n gud luck k..:)

IzanJay said...

Whatever that something...moga segalanya dipemudahkan..suka dengan entry Hanis yang ini..memang semuanya sangat2 benar...situasi kita sama...kita rasa peluang yang kita dapat ni..mana orang lain nak dapat..so kita perlu hargai..bila ada masa2 halangan di depan...memang mengganggu..tapi lama2 it sure will be faded away...it will definitely will..!

NARDtheNERD said...

hmmmm...we all here semua fikir yang further study oversea mcm seronok..but since i read this. and some of the other bloggers. study abroad sometimes tak seindah yang disangka..=)

A.k.i.r.a ~ c.h.a.n said...

nice entry sis! qila suke baca..yang penting kite kene bersyukur dengan apa yang kite ada skarang kan? :)

Hanis MY said...

Azmina..yeayy...lepas tulis entry ni risau jugak kalau orang lain bercanggah pendapat tapi memang niat tu kena betul, halangan dan dugaan lain kira sebab memang adat belajar adat hidup..Hanis pun nk jadi pro macam senior2 tu seme..yosh sama2 teruskan misi ini...

Syiya tq dear!, InsyaAllah..amin.. u too good luck with studies k!

Kak Izan, betul sangat2 kita tak tahu apa halangan di depan dan yang penting Allah pasti membantu and it will faded away and make us stronger! InsyaAllah...

Nard, study mana2 pun sama kurang kat situ lebih kat sini ada pro n cons just try to stay focus dlm masa sama enjoy dan bersyukur dgn apa yang ada...

Qila dear, yup soo true... i totally agree with u...

azmina ibrahim said...

nk komen lg bley?..pendapat azmina laa...blaja mana2 pun sama..kat luar, kat dalam..Allah da tetapkan jalan hidup kita masing2, dugaan yg datang adalah utk menguatkan kita, mendekatkan kita kepada Allah agar kita tidak lalai, perjuangan menuntut ilmu tak pernah selesai..indah atau tidak seindah yg disangka tuh, itu rezeki msg2, apa yg telah Allah tetapkan utk kita, well.... least u're brave enough to accept the challenge, drp tak pergi mana2 sbb takut utk hadapi dugaan hidup...i wish you all the best, my Dear Sweet Couple Hanis & Termimi :-P

fadhilah said...

insaf jap
;P

mohd imran taib said...

hanis & termimi,

saya selalu baca entry hanis tapi tak berkesempatan untuk leave comment. tapi kali ni terasa nak komen...

jangan sedih dengan ujian kerana ujian tanda kita masih disayang.

jangan putus berdoa dan berharap kerana kita beruntung masih punya Dia yang sudi mendengar.

jangan fikir orang lain kerana situasi kita dan mereka tidak sama.

... 'mesti harungi dan jangan mati"

wassalam.

Hanis MY said...

en imran terima kasih atas sokongan dari jauh, sama2 kita doa.. insyaAllah...

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